Monster
by Twins of the Earth
Summary: This is my take on why Naruto didn't talk to Hinata after she confessed her love during the Pain attack. Has a few of my personal headcanons. It's a little short, but I thought it was cute so I hope you do too. Please read and enjoy. NaruHina.


It was common knowledge to children. Monsters weren't heroes. Monsters didn't get happy endings. Monsters didn't get love. For young Uzumaki Naruto, he believed he was one. That's what he was always told. Naruto wasn't a stupid five-year-old like most would think. He was rather smart and clever. Sure, he couldn't read or write like all the other kids, but he was teaching himself. However slowly it may happen. As years passed, the young boy learned quickly of the fear and hatred directed at him. So, to hopefully lessen the fear towards him, he put on a front of being a stupid, little boy. However, pretending to be stupid can sometimes lead to one forgetting what being smart is. Naruto tried to be careful of this, but sometimes he slipped up.

When Naruto reached the age that he started to take interest in girls, he didn't know what to do. Monsters didn't get love or happy endings. He was destined to be alone for the rest of his life. No one could love a monster. It was utterly impossible. So…he gave up on love. Just plain…gave up. It was the one and only thing he ever gave up on. No one could ever love him. Sure, he knew Iruka-sensei and the Hokage loved him like family, but even then, he knew they feared him. Fear meant that they didn't fully love him. They were just kind to him. But he accepted that. He would accept anything other than hatred he could get. But, he had to play the part of a stupid, little boy. Stupid, ignorant, and anything else that would make the village hate him less.

So, he added 'stupid, lonely, little boy chasing after a girl he could never have' to his list of facades. There were lots of Sasuke fangirls to choose from, but they all would soon lose interest once they weren't able to see him every day. He chose Sakura because she was smart and would most likely make it past the exams. He knew Sakura would never love him. No one would. It was just impossible.

Years later, Naruto started to question himself. Did…someone actually say they loved him? Actually love him? Like…couple love? Mom and dad love? Naruto was so in shock by this that he actually tried to cling to the little speck of possibility that Hinata- _Hyuuga Hinata_ -could actually love him like he thought he would never be allowed to have. And then Pain killed her. He…killed her. Of course he would. Naruto was the monster. He didn't get happy endings. And he never would. However, when Pain brought everyone back to life, Naruto wanted to find and ask Hinata if she meant what she said, but a part of him-the scared, lonely, little boy who created the stupid façade-didn't want to hear the rejection. That it wasn't true. That she only said that to rip the rug from under him and say it was just a joke or a way to get him to defeat Pain. He didn't need to be told. He didn't need to be hurt. So…he pretended he forgot…like the idiot he pretended to be.

Again? Again someone tells him they love him, however, this time, he knows they're lying. Sakura would never love him. Her eyes say it clearly. I don't love you like I'm trying to make you believe. Unconsciously, Naruto's mind drifts back to when Hinata claimed the exact same thing. Her eyes-pale and white as they were-held far more emotion than Sakura's. An emotion, he discovered, was not one he was familiar with. What was it? His heart clinched painfully as the hope of it actually being love. He quickly squashed that. Monsters don't get happy endings. Monsters don't get love.

The meeting with his mother changed his entire world. Both with the Kyuubi and with himself. Love. It…it was possible. So, he followed his mother's advice and clung to the hope of Hinata actually loving him. And as the Fourth Shinobi War progressed…he found that Hinata's love was less hopeful and more reality. However, he still didn't understand love. He had given up on it for so long that he didn't know if he could actually feel it himself. So…once again, Naruto was forced to leave Hinata's feelings unanswered until he himself could figure out the unknown feeling he had been running away from his whole life. His progress was slow. Going from what his love for Iruka-sensei was-family-, his love for Sasuke-friends-, and, after some years, finally came to the conclusion of what actual love was when Hinata gave him that red scarf.

After all that. All of it. The emotion still taunted him. Toying with him. Hinata was…out of his reach. He knew it was too good to be true. Monster don't get-but then again…maybe he wasn't a monster. Hinata did love him, "Always, Naruto-kun," Hinata told him.

And…he chose to believe her. Hinata said he taught her to never give up because he never did; on anything. He really didn't have the heart to tell her. She was the reason that statement became true. She was the reason he decided to give love a chance. She's the one he let hold his sad, lonely, broken heart. She was the reason…he wasn't a monster.


End file.
